Strange Bird

Daughter Darling- 'Sweet Shadows'

when it’s about the journey and not the success at the end (p II)

In the late summer of 2001, I had just started my second year of college.  I was going to a very small private religious college in Kentucky to try and gain a better understanding of what I was brought up to believe.  I was dating a theology major and we would sit under the stars at the park, smoke cigarettes and talk about the mistakes we saw in the church.  We would listen to Radiohead and talk about the the bible, catholicism, the judgmental nature of our ‘religion’. We both were having problems with our faith.  By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I knew that this school, the boyfriend and frame of mind wasn’t for me.  

November of 2001, I made the decision to move to Philadelphia to start actively pursuing my dream to be a full time singer/songwriter.  I responded to two brothers named Travis and Steve Fogelman through a ‘singer wanted’ add that I ran across online.  They were skeptical but sent me a track while I was visiting home for the holiday and I went to a friends studio to lay down vocals.  I sent the track ‘Sad & Lonely’ to them and we immediately felt something special between us.  

I moved Feb 1st 2002 and we were called ‘Daughter Darling’ and ‘Sweet Shadows’ was the name of our record released July of 2003.  The music I was writing at the time was very, very dark and sad.  The production gritty and raw with emotion.  It was very difficult to live in a big city on the east coast when I had grown up in the midwest.  The people seemed so miserable to me.  The streets so gloom and cold.  That city helped me to see everything differently and I grew to love it eventually.  Eventually Philadelphia became ‘home’.  

sbts (story behind the song): Waking Dream

I had moved to Philadelphia solo.  I didn’t know a soul in the city but it pulled me in with the gravity of curiosity and naivety.  I was lucky to live in a beautiful home with some college students.  I had a nice room with a lot of light pouring through my window every morning.  

The rays of sun would warm my blankets as I quietly slipped in and out of dreams.  Almost always wonderful dreams…

I would say my first months living in Philly were lonely and I teetered on the brink of depression.  I stayed up late with the few friends I had made and then slept off the fun only to wake and find my reality to be waiting tables at a small bistro. I would escape to the studio when I could to write music, and I would visit and recall my dreams often for inspiration.  

Waking dream is about a dream that you don’t want to wake up from.  You want to lie there in your warm, sun drenched bed and dream for the entire day and not have to face the world and it’s challenges.  I think dreams give us a taste of relief from the hardships that we can experience in life.  

when it’s about the journey & not the success at the ‘end’

I once proclaimed to my 8 year old cousin in a Kroger parking lot that I was going to be famous someday.  With insane confidence.  A confidence that you may not normally find in a 10 year old girl.  You see, this was not characteristic of me…to brag shamelessly about my impending fame.  I was an extremely awkward, string bean legged, obnoxiously loud, frizzy haired girl (often mistaken for a boy) and no one knew I could carry a tune to save my life.  so this statement came as a shock to my cousin and he responded with laughter and strong doubt.  I resented his reaction and it became my fuel to keep moving forward.  I’ve always operated this way.  

I carried this secret ‘knowledge’ of my future into my teenage years.  I had to get from point A to point B and found myself desperately digging for opportunity.   I put together my first band at the age of 16.  We began to write (awful) tunes together but I was naive enough to think that this first band would bring me the fame I so hungered for.  The fame that I felt I deserved.  I did not deserve it.  And it would never be handed to me. 

If I knew that then would I have continued on pursuing music as if my life depended on it?  I suppose so, but I would have become callus and angry at a young age.  I like looking back and seeing a girl who had the optimism of a 4 year old at the age of 20.  I didn’t know any better.  It had been my survival through some tough personal circumstances in my adolescence and carried me through to eventually learn some hard lessons and gain a wider scope of a deeply flawed and crumbling industry.  

To be continued…

I’ve been told…

I’ve been told that I can write.  I suppose that may be true and I have some stories to tell so I’ll use this as a platform for that mostly now.  It’s been cool posting some random things along the way too but perhaps if I treat this as a storybook, I’ll come back more often.  I hope you enjoy.  I’ll try to post a few times a week when life allows it.  

much love…

~N

I feel pretty…

WHAT’S ON MY FACE??

Skincare:

Alba Pineapple Enzyme Cleanser ($14)

Origins ‘A Perfect World’ antioxidant moisturizer with white tea ($39.50)

Bobbi Brown hydrating Eye Cream ($46)

Makeup (less is more):

Bobbi Brown corrector in light bisque ($22)

Origins ‘Nude and Improved’ tinted moisturizer with SPF 15 ($21)

MAC paint pot (cream eyeshadow) in ‘Painterly’ ($17.50)

MAC eyeshadow (lower lid) ‘Yogurt’ ($15)

Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner in ‘granite ink’ ($22)

Bobbi Brown blush powder in ‘Pale Pink’ (best color ever!) ($24)

Neutrogena moisture shine Lip Soother SPF 20 in ‘Gleam’ ($6)